Hearts and Thoughts
9/04/2016
Emotional Dumping
It always makes me feel better when I see cats. So I am going to add a photo of Waffle. She was our rescue kitty. She and her kittens have been adopted. I hope they are doing great. Well, below are just ramblings of my confused and chaotic mind trying to make sense of things.
I would call this the trash bin. I believe that I might be able to feel better if I write the awful feelings I have been having. I believe it is therapeutic and I didn't have to verbally be saying it out loud to the persons involve or thought are involved.I think a lot of times my brain is tricking me into a different way of thin king and dealing with things that are not helpful. Especially the negative aura that I get from people and even loved ones. I kept saying to myself yesterday that these people meant well and I might be the one misinterpreting things. After I slept it off, I felt so much better. But when I was deep in this negative thoughts I was full of resentment and I really felt awful. I was feeling like I need to flee out of here somewhere where I cannot be reached and mostly I feel that way when things gets rough. It's not very good position, we get caught in the middle of other people's business and activities which we would not really like to get involved in but we would feel guilty and have to give in just to make the other person happy. Or that feeling of trying not to offend or make them feel bad,so we just go along as to what they say. I understand, it is really hard to live with people. There will always be compromises. But right at this moment for me, I feel like I want to flee and be free from them. Of course these are things you would never say to loved one's face. Especially to people who have helped you a lot. But this so called help could seem to be a shackle that binds me to them and that feeling is not good. I feel ungrateful thinking that, but I that's reality and we need to free ourselves from that. We need to work towards that. Meanwhile, patience...patience is key. Even with my condition, I think patience is key. And don't let anyone kill that spirit that is slowly trying to grow within. Strengthen your mind and practice work outs of positive talk to build brain strength. I don't want anyone to crush my spirit just as I thought I am gaining and trying hard to stand again and rise above this. Gotta rise above all these.Patience.....patience.
It always makes me feel better when I see cats. So I am going to add a photo of Waffle. She was our rescue kitty. She and her kittens have been adopted. I hope they are doing great. Well, below are just ramblings of my confused and chaotic mind trying to make sense of things.
I would call this the trash bin. I believe that I might be able to feel better if I write the awful feelings I have been having. I believe it is therapeutic and I didn't have to verbally be saying it out loud to the persons involve or thought are involved.I think a lot of times my brain is tricking me into a different way of thin king and dealing with things that are not helpful. Especially the negative aura that I get from people and even loved ones. I kept saying to myself yesterday that these people meant well and I might be the one misinterpreting things. After I slept it off, I felt so much better. But when I was deep in this negative thoughts I was full of resentment and I really felt awful. I was feeling like I need to flee out of here somewhere where I cannot be reached and mostly I feel that way when things gets rough. It's not very good position, we get caught in the middle of other people's business and activities which we would not really like to get involved in but we would feel guilty and have to give in just to make the other person happy. Or that feeling of trying not to offend or make them feel bad,so we just go along as to what they say. I understand, it is really hard to live with people. There will always be compromises. But right at this moment for me, I feel like I want to flee and be free from them. Of course these are things you would never say to loved one's face. Especially to people who have helped you a lot. But this so called help could seem to be a shackle that binds me to them and that feeling is not good. I feel ungrateful thinking that, but I that's reality and we need to free ourselves from that. We need to work towards that. Meanwhile, patience...patience is key. Even with my condition, I think patience is key. And don't let anyone kill that spirit that is slowly trying to grow within. Strengthen your mind and practice work outs of positive talk to build brain strength. I don't want anyone to crush my spirit just as I thought I am gaining and trying hard to stand again and rise above this. Gotta rise above all these.Patience.....patience.
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